Jembatan Merah

Saya suka jembatan.

(:

Inilah kemegahan cinta yang tulen, yang pernah berakar; dan pernah berantakan, tapi kini kembali menggaung, karena nurani yang tidak pernah menyerah. Ia dipijak, dianiaya, diperkosa, dan dipaksa untuk mati, tapi tak pernah ia merasa kalah, tak pernah ia binasa...
Remy Sylado- Kembang Jepun. 

Pertama kali baca novel nya pas SMP(sekitar 12th lalu) , nemu di perpustakaan sekolah. Lalu baca lagi pas SMA(sekitar 10th lalu), masi juga minjem di perpustakaan sekolah. Sekian (puluh) tahun berlalu akhirnya 30 Agustus 2016 kesampaian juga menginjakkan kaki di tempat ini. Konyol sih kata teman saya, kamu sudah sampai ujung Papua tapi Surabaya malah belum pernah, mengingat jarak Surabaya - Malang hanya sekian sentimeter di peta.
Hehehe....you don't get it.
Tempat-tempat seperti ini sakral buatku mamen..titik simulakrum. Mewah. Semacam jumpa fans dengan artis pujaan. Sesuatu yang begitu sureal tetiba so real. Tak ternilai. Baru sebanding kalo dipasrahkan ke momentum alami, kesadaran non lokal. Sesuatu yang asing tapi familiar. Aneh tapi nyata. Megah. Tapi bisa saja kan, tinggal dijadwalkan sebelum take off pergi kesini dulu, toh kamu bolak balik ke bandara belok mampir sebentar kan gampang, tinggal bilang. Yeah..say what you say..you don't get it my friend.
(:

Saya suka jembatan.

Entah kenapa.

Suka.

Selalu suka.

*Akhirnya ke Jembatan Merah juga..dan kebetulan pas lagi baca karya Remy Sylado yang lain Perempuan Bernama Arjuna(filsafat dalam fiksi) baru separuh buku..see...awesome right...the power of kebetulan. Strange Atractor. Strange de Javu.


#me #love #jembatan #jembatanmerah #mystory#justthinking #kembangjepun

 — di Jembatan Merah. Surabaya.

Failed.

Tidak semua orang punya kesempatan kedua.
Tapi tidak ada salahnya untuk selalu mencoba.
Apapun nanti hasilnya.
Gagal segagal-gagalnya.
Berhasil dengan rasa berhak di dada.
(:

*When I failed..when I cried..when I almost drowned.
I can't see underwater clearly..I can't see my finish line..I can't predict my breath..I can't predict my movement..and lately my hips so weak..it hurt-really hurt sometimes.

When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you've gotta do?
Just keep swimming..
Just keep swimming..
Just keep swimming.
(Dory)

Still try to change my fear to my dear.
And my dear save me from the pool today.

@Kolam Renang TNI-AD Raider Distrik Waiheru

Me and My Diplopia (Double Vision)

Diplopia.
Yeah..now I'm living with diplopia.
Try to change my fear into my dear with acceptance.
Scared? Of course.
Wanna give up? Couple times.
Anxiety? Almost all the time.
I burn my hand, bleed, and fall a lot.
Wanna throw up all the time-feels like morning sickness but for 24 hours.
My heart never stop bip bop bip bop..doki..doki..bang..bang..
My head full with tap dancer, they stand on left side, and in one two three..they dance like crazy.
I met couple doctor..couple hospital..three islands.
Eye test-I don't know how it called.. theraphy..MRI..theraphy..again..and again..diagnose by diagnose..pills by pills..
But till now..they don't know why and how bad-ups lets say how good my condition.
They said..close an eye..when you can't take it anymore.
I read many articles, medical journals, and try to connect with everypeople who had diplopia too.
I found some..but nothing in this country-please who had friend or family..please let me know. I want to talk so bad.
Almost two months my life change.
I still do my daily activity like always.
I'm not changed..I just see things in different way.
Little crack doesn't mean it broken..right?
(:

*Times up..I have a class to attend..see ya in other post.
Ah ya..I decided to write a lot..not for gain an emphaty-I had enaugh..just in case..somebody out there..wanna find me. Maybe I can't help..but I know for sure how happy..how glad..when we found someone who feel the same.